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Reporting for duty… that’s me! Ashira. I will be your reporter today! 

The day began like any other… very exciting day!!!! 

Oh dear, Laura is running late! 

Though not too surprised were her mates. 

Alethea, Ashira, Eve

No woman behind they did leave.

They piled onto the train car,

Smushed into two rows with a bar.

Alice, Laura, Maya, Georgie

A small space but ‘twas no orgy

A chocolate button Eve spied,

And soon she had a pirate eye! 

Toooooot! The locomotive was off! 

All were pumped, then they heard a cough…

May the force be with our Maya. 

Ashira prayed without tire, 

Her prayers were answered – sheepsies! 

They pulled into London, yes please! 

Though Alice briefly vacationed

They had made it to the station.

While they all partook of their lunch

Ashira snuck off with a munch

She secretly purchased two cards 

With butts to catch Laura off guard. 

They rolled up to the RAC

Singing Eye of the Tiger’s melody.

Small potatoes Maya did eat

Till Cambridge ‘twas time to defeat.

Alex, Catherine, and Charly

Saw Alethea play deadly.

She was a proper bulldozer 

She ran Minnie Cooper over.

Georgie won 10-9 in the first

Then had 1, 4 with a smash burst! 

Maya had quite the sweaty match

The second through fourth games she snatched.

Though Ash revved her up with a shout

And an old lady said, “get out”! 

Shenkman won so efficiently

She shanked the chick and had to flee.

A tough battle saw our Alice

She was felled but without malice.

Her opponent won MVP 

We do think quite deservedly.

Laura had a rough five gamer

Although she could have been tamer

Tom trotted up to calm her down

She told him off with a firm frown.

She turned 0-9 right back around – 

9-0 with a leap and a bound! 

After “watching” the men’s games

Woman of the match she was named! 

Yummy dinner was had by all

While captains’ speeches were a ball.

With Varsity victorious,

Our squash team is notorious.

Note: Georgie was not actually on the train but she needed to be so this would rhyme.