This is the tale of Denzil Drudge,
Who, all his life had borne a grudge
About the fact he was ignored
By people, who were clearly bored
When in his presence, (which he lacked).
No-one noticed him. In fact
He even bought a Trilby hat
To get attention. Even that
Was not enough to fix his plight
Because his stature, drab and slight
Meant when he wore it down the gym
You saw the hat, but never him.
Indeed, the level he was really on
Was on a par with a Chameleon.
He went to see a Life-Style Coach,
Who didn’t notice him approach
For his appointment. So much so,
The Coach stood up, as if to go,
‘Til Denzil cried “I’m Denzil Drudge”.
“My God”, cried Coach, “Give me a nudge
If I should fall asleep.You see
A Nondescript like you can be
Transparent to the naked eye.
So boring, people pass you by.
They’d have to drink Red Bull and Pepsi,
To try to stave off Narcolepsy.
I see your problem. You’re quite vexed
When folks like me just holler “NEXT!”
When you’re still here, for your appointment.
I’m sorry, there’s no magic ointment
You can rub into a bore
To bring that person to the fore,
So try to think of ways to use
Your non-existence. Maybe choose
A job which needs a bloke to blend
Into the background. In the end
It may turn out that if you keep…..”
And then the blighter fell asleep.
So Denzil thought “I’m up for that,
And I could wear my Trilby hat
If I became a Private Dick
I’d blend and lurk. I’d have my pick
Of girls who’d think my job was thrilling.
At last, a way to start instilling
Danger, glamour, in my life.
Who knows, perhaps I’d get a wife,
Released from mediocrity,
At last someone would notice me.”
And, thus elated, he strode out.
He crossed the street without a doubt
About his chosen course of action.
Ironic then, that in that fraction
Of a second, bound for Town
A speeding taxi knocked him down.
The talent he had hoped would free him,
Just meant the driver didn’t see him.